


Hush

by lifescream



Series: Dark NoMin [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Aged-Up Huang Ren Jun, Aged-Up Lee Donghyuck, Aged-Up Na Jaemin, Aged-Up Park Jisung, Aged-Up Zhong Chen Le, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Character Death, Dark, Eventual Smut, High School, Horror, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Killing, M/M, Mystery, NCT Dream Ensemble-centric, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Psychological, Psychological Horror, Reunions, Smut, They all have secrets, Thriller, Twisted, Twisted Characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:55:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25649173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifescream/pseuds/lifescream
Summary: How long can a friendship last beneath a cycle of lies and betrayal? Secrets unfold, but whose secret is grimmer than the other?
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Series: Dark NoMin [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1962481
Comments: 37
Kudos: 129





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Let’s try the horror-psychological-thriller genre this time!
> 
> Oh and if you’re sensitive about the pairings, please don’t mind the other pairings because this is Lee Jeno/ Na Jaemin centric.
> 
> Trigger warning:
> 
> Before you proceed, please take note that this is only a work of fiction. None of the things written here are completely factual. This is only a product of imagination combined with literature. The contents of this story might be triggering to some so if you want to continue, please proceed with caution.

* * *

_Some say the innocence of youth is a precious thing._

_It’s not forever so one should treasure each moment while it lasts._

_Memories with friends can last a lifetime, even longer than one can imagine._

_Some memories are worth to be remembered, and some should be buried._

_Youth isn’t an excuse for ignorance, and so does keeping secrets._

_You should be wary though, because the past can haunt you back._

* * *

The pleasant aroma of freshly brewed coffee and the warm comfort of the linen couch seat lulls Jaemin into the tempting comfort of slumber after gruelling seventeen-hour surgeries for two patients. It was _never_ a good idea to pull a graveyard shift on the night before his long-awaited day off, but when he’s the only surgeon on the clock and an unwelcome patient arrives just in the nick of time, Jaemin is bound to regret the now unwise decision he has made.

“You look deader than you already are, Doctor Na” Nurse Kim, one of the nurses in day shift, voices out as she takes out two cups from the pantry of the personnel lounge. She hands the distraught surgeon a nice cup of coffee, careful not to spill any on the newly mopped white tiles. “Don’t take it the wrong way. I know this week has been busy for the night shift personnel to the point that I’ve seen you more times in here than I should, considering I’m in the day shift.”

“My long weekend should be worth it then” Jaemin paints a regretful smile on his face as he takes a sip of the miraculous liquid. The familiar bitter taste already makes Jaemin giddy from his caffeine addiction.

Nurse Kim takes a seat across Jaemin, holding her coffee cup in one hand while the other holds out a remote control. The morning news flashes in front of them, echoing around the small walls of the personnel lounge.

_“Bodies of three men were found in an alleyway this morning. A local jogger who found the bodies immediately alerted the authorities. Today, we have the chief of police investigating the gruesome murder that happened this morning”_ The reporter turns to the man wearing a badge beside her.

_“No motive is identified yet, but the cause of death is blunt force trauma.”_ The officer responded _"Apart from that, the killer mutilated the victims’ faces and burned their fingertips. Their teeth were also taken out to disregard dental records. As of now, there is no luck identifying the victims.”_

Nurse Kim grimaced at the sight of the three victims shown in the screen. “Goodness. That’s overkill, don’t you think?”

Jaemin hums in agreement, sipping his coffee as he continues to watch. Working in the hospital for so many years, he has definitely seen worse.

_“You say the ‘killer’, are you implying there is only one suspect?”_ The reporter continues.

_“We believe that this is related to the serial killings that happened years before”_

_“You mean the killings that happened for the past ten years?”_

_“Unfortunately, yes. It’s his or her signature. Sadly, we have never identified a pattern for his or her killings like any serial killers do. We are only left with a mutilated body.”_ The police officer looks straight into the camera _“Please be careful, everyone.”_

“Oh my, this is really creepy” Nurse Kim sighs, placing her cup down “lucky you, Doctor Na. You have a long weekend ahead of you”

“Come on, Nurse Kim” Jaemin scoffs “we’re literally hours and cities away from that area. This is a crowded city and you live just across a police station. You’ll be fine.”

“You say that because you have a boyfriend who lives with you” Nurse Kim counters, giving the surgeon a pout.

Jaemin could only shake his head because in truth, Nurse Kim is too old to pout like how the young nurses do when they’re assigned for long surgeries. With a sigh, he takes another sip of coffee to elevate his mood. In his side, Jaemin eyes a fresh bouquet of flowers beside Nurse Kim “Is there a secret relationship I should be reporting to the head nurse?”

“Sadly, no” Nurse Kim interjects Jaemin’s caffeine worshipping moment and gives the surgeon the bouquet of white roses, sly smile creeping up her face “the receptionist told me to hand it to you. Must be nice to have a boyfriend who still remembers even when you’re rarely home.”

Jaemin rolls his eyes before shyly accepting the gift. He looks at the card attached; furrowing his eyebrows as he flips the envelope “This isn’t from him. There’s no return address”

“Could it be a secret admirer?” Nurse Kim pries, sitting beside the puzzled Jaemin “Open it”

Without much hesitation, Jaemin opens the envelope. He steals a glance at the excited nurse before taking out the content. It was a picture of him with five other guys dressed in school uniform and Jaemin is astonished.

“Is that you?” Nurse Kim asks, inching slowly at the photograph of the young doctor surrounded with young men. “Who are these guys?”

The fatigue and stress was long gone, Jaemin’s beaming smile widened as memories of his high school days came flashing slowly “My high school friends!”

“You were handsome back then too, Doctor Na” Nurse Kim grins, nudging Jaemin’s side “You and your friends must be popular in school. You probably have broken many hearts”

“It’s not like that” Jaemin answers shyly, biting his lower lip. The good memories of his past did not come with all smiles and laughter after all. There were dark times too, times that Jaemin did not want to remember again. And the one face among the photograph makes Jaemin recall those times “I was bullied too”

Nurse Kim notices the darkened eyes of the surgeon as he stares at the single paper that holds hundreds of memories for the latter. In order not to make the matters worse, Nurse Kim tries to divert the doctor’s attention “Maybe there’s something written at the back?”

Jaemin obediently flips the photograph, surprised at Nurse Kim’s attempt. He reads the printed letters carefully.

_How long has it been? I miss you guys. I heard everyone is currently in the same town. Let’s meet at Valley Café if you’re free this afternoon!_

_I’ll be waiting._

“A reunion” Nurse Kim beams, holding her palms together “you should go, Doctor Na. Maybe meeting your friends will relieve your pent up stress”

With a defeated smile, Jaemin couldn’t help but agree. It has definitely been so long; hopefully meeting with his best friends will once again create good memories for him.

* * *

Jaemin brushes away the tinge of sweat forming in his forehead after being exposed to the warmth of the afternoon sun. The sudden surge of cool air from the blaring air conditioner startles Jaemin as he enters the Valley Café. His ears immediately relax into the recorded voice of Frank Sinatra as his eyes scan around the room, hoping to spot familiar faces he’s long missed.

“And here I thought Na Jaemin would be the last” A familiar voice rang against Jaemin’s ears. He wouldn’t mistake that playful tone. After all, it belongs to the noisiest person in his group of friends— Lee Donghyuck.

Jaemin turns to his side to see his tanned friend sitting beside a shorter man, Huang Renjun _,_ their group’s quietest member. Across them sat the one Jaemin adored all throughout high school, Park Jisung. Jaemin immediately sat beside their tallest friend, wrapping his arms around him like how he used to. “Jisung” Jaemin beamed, “My cute Jisung!”

“A hello would be nice” voiced Renjun who is busy slurping tapioca pearls in his now empty cup.

Jaemin grins before reaching across the table to ruffle the grumpy man’s hair. The way Renjun groaned is ever unchanging, reminiscent of their high school days. Jaemin enjoyed getting on everyone’s nerves as a way for him to show his affection.

“It’s been ten years and Jaemin is still as annoying as ever” Donghyuck sighs, stirring the ice cubes of his half empty iced coffee. “I thought being a doctor would make him more serious”

“Come on guys” Jisung, in his small voice, tried to reason out “you know Jaemin is actually smart”

Jaemin smiles brightly at Jisung’s attempt, pinching the latter’s soft cheeks he used to call rice cakes. “Thank you, Jisung”

“Jaemin is actually smart” Donghyuck imitated in a mocking tone as he rests his arms atop the wooden table “Oh, Jisung. Don’t tell me you’re still not over your fat crush on Jaemin?”

The tall boy could only throw Donghyuck a menacing glance and Jaemin couldn’t help but coo at the sight. They may be adults now but Jisung is still easily provoked with a little teasing. Hoping to alleviate his mood, Jaemin ruffles the highlighted brown locks “Don’t tease him too much. We all had puppy love at one point, right?”

“I wonder why you two never got together, seeing you’re all over each other” Donghyuck continues to pry, not wanting to back down. Renjun had already stopped eating his pearls as he stares at the two.

“If you’re all about puppy love, guess you got Mark—“

“Jisung, enough” Renjun finally spoke, having enough of the two bickering “we’re not here to argue”

Jaemin shifted in his seat as he feels the heavy air around his friends. Surely, this wasn’t what he expected for a reunion after ten years. But knowing how they got along very well, they knew which buttons to be pushed to irk one another. And sometimes, knowing too much may not be the best perk. Jaemin wonders if they actually grew up or it was just their physical attributes that matured with age. He forces a smile as he turns to his friends, “Where’s Chenle by the way?”

“Here!” Answered a dishevelled man who scurries to enter the café; struggling to carry his luggage. With a loud thud, he heaves a defeated sigh as he finally takes an empty seat between Jaemin and Renjun. “Flight got delayed”

“Welcome back?” Jisung says, blinking in wonder.

“So who’s the little shit who sent me this invite all the way to China?” Chenle questions as he throws a familiar envelope in the table. “How the hell did you know I was coming here?”

“What?” it was Donghyuck who turns to ask, taking another similar envelope from his bag to show everyone “I thought it was you who sent it?”

“Why would you think that?” Chenle raises a brow as he crosses his arms.

“I don’t know?” Donghyuck shrugs “Maybe because it’s always you who does something like this?”

Jaemin hears Chenle scoff while he takes out his own envelope. He feels his chest tighten and his hands getting colder “If it isn’t Chenle, then who?”

“W-well” Jisung stutters, pursing his lips “i-it should be one of us, right? I mean we were all sent the same picture. If none of us five did it, t-the only one missing is M-Mark—“

“Mark is dead, Jisung!” Renjun’s sudden outburst startles Jaemin and the others. It is unlikely for Renjun to show his emotional side, but the death of their friend took a toll on each of them. Jaemin would admit all of them were never the same again “Don’t bring the dead into this prank.”

“That’s right.” Jaemin tries to smile, but the tightness in his chest is starting to worsen. The air seems colder than before, and he could feel his heart thumping loudly. Jaemin doesn’t believe in the supernatural, but the mention of their dead friend makes Jaemin uneasy. It’s as if someone is watching them, or him. Jaemin exhales slowly to relax himself. The stress from work and the morbidity of their topic must be getting into him. “We should let Mark be in peace.”

“Okay, this isn’t funny” Donghyuck voices out, clearly pissed “I don’t even care now who sent this anymore. Renjun is right; we didn’t come here to argue”

“I’m sorry” Jisung says in almost a whisper and other only nodded in response.

“So” Donghyuck claps his hands, startling the others “what brings you here, Chenle?”

Jaemin smiles at his friend, Donghyuck must be trying to make the atmosphere better again. The tanned man might like to get on everyone’s nerves but he knows how to make up for it which Jaemin is thankful for.

“I’m actually visiting a relative. But since I finally got a long break, I figured I might as well take a vacation here in Korea” responded Chenle as he explains he just got started a new job after transferring in a new entertainment company. Chenle complained that the previous company he worked for did not pay him enough for the music he produced. This earned a couple of laughter for the others because it was a typical Chenle move.

“It’s a coincidence I’m on vacation too” Jaemin voices out, trying to engage in the topic as he aims to ignore the heavy feeling.

“I heard you’re a surgeon” Chenle says “I would never expect that from you”

It was Jaemin’s turn to raise a brow “Because I don’t look like it?”

“Because you were clumsy” fired Renjun. Donghyuck and Chenle’s laughter made several eyes turn towards the group but they paid no mind.

Jaemin however, became more anxious.

“I’m setting up a branch of my gallery here soon” Renjun continues “hopefully, I can invite you all”

“You should” Chenle sneered then turns to the other two “I heard Hyuck and Jisung work in the same financial company”

“You’ve heard a lot about us” Donghyuck mocks.

Chenle leans forward, “And I also heard you and Renjun have been dating for quite a while”

“Is that true?” Jaemin’s eyes widened “Since when?”

“Since a few years ago” Renjun sighs, giving Chenle a threatening glance “we would have told you afterwards if this blabbermouth didn’t say anything”

Chenle’s remained stoic in challenging Renjun’s eyes before turning towards Jaemin “Jaemin, are your memories still not back?”

Jaemin pursed his lips. Ten years ago, he was involved in an accident. Or so they called it. It almost cost him his life and his memories of that time continue to be vague. Jaemin regretfully shakes his head “Not much. I just remembered being bullied before I had the accident”

“Chenle!” Donghyuck exclaimed, almost shouting “Why do you keep making the mood down?”

“It’s fine” Jaemin chuckled “It’s not like I want to remember anyways. I’m quite thankful I don’t recall much actually”

“Hey, I have a proposition” The tanned male smiles, placing his palms against the wooden table “since you all seem to be free, why don’t we have a sleepover? Just like the old times. You know, just to catch up”

“I would like that” Jisung nods in agreement, a shy smile plastered in his face “it would be a waste just to end the day here”

“I’m in” Chenle holds out his hand “but I’m only staying in a hotel for a few days. I don’t think we can fit in a single room”

“My place is no good too” Jisung sighs “I rent an apartment with a college student”

Donghyuck and Renjun exchange a look before turning to the others. It’s Renjun who speaks “Our house is under renovation. We were thinking we would spend the night at one of your places but seeing there’s none—“

“You can stay at my place” Jaemin offers. He is dead tired but he promised to himself he would make his long weekend worthwhile. A sleepover with friends he hasn’t seen for ten years is a good start.

* * *

Jaemin hopes the hot shower would erase all fatigue and the chills he felt before. He closes his eyes as he lets the warm water trickle down his body. Surely, this has been a long day. Jaemin lets himself relax to heat that surrounds him. The calming sound of the falling water should ease his mind yet Jaemin felt a sudden chill when a cold wind brushes against his wet bare body.

He opens his eyes slowly, gulping as he turns the shower off. The slightly ajar bathroom door leaves Jaemin wondering, when he remembers he had locked it beforehand. But maybe the stress finally got Jaemin and his mind recalls moments that never happened. Maybe he really forgot to lock the door.

After drying his hair, Jaemin dresses himself lightly with boxer shorts and baggy clothes from his closet. He searches for his phone, setting the alarm just in time when his friends arrive tonight. Jaemin figures a nap for a few hours may help clear his mind from the long day. When he finally succumbs to the comfort of the soft sheets, he fails to notice his bedroom door slowly creaking open.

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning:
> 
> Before you proceed, please take note that this is only a work of fiction. None of the things written here are completely factual. This is only a product of imagination combined with literature. The contents of this story might be triggering to some so if you want to continue, please proceed with caution.

* * *

Jaemin groans as the sound of his alarm goes off. He reaches for his phone to turn it off, hoping he didn’t press he snooze button. Everything was quiet except for the evening cicadas outside his window when Jaemin manages to open his eyes. His head continues to ring as he tries to adjust his eyes from the darkness that envelops his room.

With a heavy sigh, he pulls himself up to get ready. Jaemin looks at his dim reflection from the mirror, distaste evident in his face as he sees the obvious lines under his eyes. Sighing, he removes his oversized shirt.

Jaemin is not skinny. In fact, he is on the fit side. Yet no matter how much he eats or how much he works out, it seems that his body has its own limitation. Nevertheless, Jaemin is satisfied with how his body is and how he looks. His fingers carefully trace against the long scar across his chest— a surgical scar he got after the accident during his high school years. He then touches a barely evident, older small burn mark above his scar and just below his collarbone.

Jaemin smiles to himself when he remembers the familiar pair of lips affectionately kissing those scars. It makes him feel beautiful, makes him feel that these scars are what made him who he is now. With a clear mind, he collects a pair of shirt and sweat pants and fixes himself before heading to the kitchen.

* * *

Jaemin’s doorbell rings in time for him to put the last dish on the table. When he opens the door, he is welcomed by four sly, smiling faces. It was Donghyuck and Chenle who first came in, eyes excitedly scanning the house. Jisung followed Renjun.

“Doctors sure do make a lot of money.” Renjun remarks as he slips off his coat.

“This is actually my boyfriend’s house” Jaemin shrugs whilst grabbing his friends’ coats, ignoring the curious stares of Donghyuck and Chenle who settled themselves on the couch.

“Ooh. So you already live together” Donghyuck smirks, resting his elbow against the armrest. His eyes continue to look around before landing on Jaemin “I don’t see any pictures?”

“New house” The surgeon explains briefly.

Chenle cuts off, “Well, do _you_ have a picture of him?”

“I’m kind of curious too” Renjun intervenes, “I never thought Jaemin would be interested in anyone apart from cuddling and smothering Jisung with love.”

Donghyuck smirks “And surprisingly, Jaemin rejected Jisung’s love confession.”

“Hey” Jisung gives the couple a warning glance, “I’m aware I did something silly when I was young. No need to rub it on my face.” He pauses before stealing a glance at Jaemin, “In fact, your boyfriend also piques my interest”

“Wow, Jisung is so grown up.” Chenle snarls at the tall man in which Jisung returns with a glare.

“Why don’t you show us, Jaemin?” Renjun smiles slyly, “You don’t need to be shy around us, right?”

Jaemin bites his lower lip, scratching the back of his head before taking out his phone “I’m not really sure if I have some, he’s not really fond of having his pictures taken. Let me see if I find one”

“And don’t give us an excuse that that’s a new phone” Chenle warns. “We won’t judge if he’s not that much of a looker”

“Or maybe he gets compared to Jaemin a lot” Donghyuck interjects “I hate to admit it but Jaemin had always been the most handsome among us even back then. I won’t doubt it if Jaemin’s the better looking one.”

“Enough with that and I could literally only find one picture of him” Jaemin butts in, sighing as he shows his screen to his friends.

The phone screen shows two guys in what seems to be a beach, on the right side of the screen is Jaemin and the other one is a blonde man beside him. Jaemin holds a glass of iced beverage with both his hands as he smiles brightly at the camera. The blonde man has his arms securely around Jaemin’s waist and kissing the crown of the latter’s head.

Donghyuck teasingly whistles “I can’t clearly see his face with those sunglasses on but basing on his perfect side profile, I definitely would say he’s handsome. Apart from that” he smirks as he eyes his friends, “I think I know why Jaemin would fall for him”

Chenle snickers, leaning closer to the screen “And what would that be? I know it’s not the face.”

“Just look at him!” Donghyuck exclaims, pointing at the screen “Look at those guns and abs. Even with four of us combined, we’re no match for _that_!”

“Oh, come on” Jaemin sighs, letting the comment die. But before he could continue, his phone rings.

“Jaemin calls him _Honey_ ” Renjun sneers upon seeing the caller I.D. “it’s so disgustingly Jaemin”

* * *

“Looks like it’s going to be a storm tonight” Jisung says as he pours the popcorn on the bowl, watching the heavy rain from the kitchen window.

“I saw it on the news earlier” Jaemin closes the refrigerator after getting bottles of sodas.

Chenle enters the kitchen after emerging from the bathroom “Wow, you have lots of rooms. I almost got lost on my way here.”

Jaemin shakes his head at the playful remark “Yeah, big house and many rooms but we’re rarely even home”

“Are you bragging?” Renjun intervenes in the conversation, walking in and taking the bowl of popcorn from Jisung’s hands “Hyuck says to hurry up”

They watched a horror movie as per Donghyuck’s request. Jisung was severely against it, however, Chenle managed to throw away his protests. Renjun was internally on Jisung’s side but having dated Donghyuck, he kept his opinions to himself. It all came down to Jaemin who was quite enthusiastic. It’s been quite a while since he last watched a horror movie and with the rain pouring down hard, he thought it was a great opportunity.

The movie ended with Jisung and Renjun huddling into one blanket, Chenle and Donghyuck finishing off the snacks, and Jaemin dozing off.

“By the way, Chenle. Why didn’t you bring that bag with your luggage upstairs?” Donghyuck asks, pointing at the bag below the coat hanger.

“Glad you asked.” Chenle excitedly stood up, tiptoeing around pairs of legs across the floor to reach the bag “I actually brought our high school yearbook!”

“Why?” It was Jisung’s turn to voice out.

“For fun of course.” Chenle answers with delight “If we are having an unofficial reunion, I figured I should bring this. I wanted all of us to remember the embarrassing shits we did in high school and how much we’ve changed.”

The sound of the pouring rain is heard from a distance as the friends opened the ten year-old yearbook, immediately skipping over their class page in a hurry. It was Donghyuck who let out a frustrated whine first, having seen his prepubescent bowl cut on a page dedicated to him as ‘ _The Class Clown’_. Renjun was atop of the list, having been rendered as the class valedictorian and visual arts champion. Jaemin then sees his photo with a group of schoolmates who excelled in extracurricular activities involving soccer and track and field. It reminded him of the summer heat and the smell of the freshly cut grass field. He loved the outdoors, even the stink of sweat in his jersey uniforms and the muddy shoes he begrudgingly had to clean the mud off of the spikes.

It was his youth.

Jaemin is distracted from his thoughts when he hears Donghyuck teasing both Chenle and Jisung for looking like infants in their high school pictures. But Jaemin only cooed at the two, recalling his memory of the pair with baby fats on their cheeks he used to pinch.

Then a moment of silence befalls upon the group when the next page reveals a photograph of the person close to their hearts. There was a long pause and Jaemin could feel the cold air against him. it was as if fate wanted them to remember _him_ , remember Mark.

Mark Lee, the class president and their dead best friend.

The group is startled and chills ran up Jaemin’s spine the moment the lights in the living room turned off. They looked at each other, with Jisung huddled closely between Renjun and Chenle. Jaemin and Donghyuck’s eyes revert back to Mark’s photo.

The pregnant pause is broken the moment the lights turn back on and Jisung shrieks, hiding against Renjun.

Jaemin clears his throat “I-it’s probably the storm”

“Y-yeah” Renjun agrees despite his voice shaking.

“I-I’ve been meaning to ask” Jaemin contemplates, bringing his knees close to his chest. “I still don’t remember the things before my accident. It seems like my mind is trying to shut the memory down—“

“Well, Jaemin” Renjun cuts off “when you experience trauma, it is possible to forget. You remember being bullied and I know a lot of people who were bullied don’t want to remember what they went through once again. The bullying trauma and your mild amnesia may be your mind telling you that it’s better not to remember.”

“I know but” Jaemin feels the similar tightness in his chest once again. The cold air that brushes against the back of his neck makes him more uneasy. “I want to at least know something about Mark. After the accident, you told me he died but you refused to tell me how” He pauses and looks at Donghyuck “I know it isn’t easy but Mark’s my friend too. Can you at least tell me the reason?”

Renjun gave a sideways look at Donghyuck before answering “He was pushed. From the rooftop.”

Jaemin purses both his lips yet the tightness never disappeared. Instead, it felt even harder to breathe. The image of the school rooftop begins to flash in his mind. He had been there. The clear, bright noon sun above his sweat covered uniform, the golden hue of the afternoon sky creating a long shadow of his figure. And the smoke.

He remembers seeing the smoke very clearly.

“Enough about Mark” Donghyuck smiles and pats Renjun’s back awkwardly. “We’re here to have fun, right? Oh look” he points at a girl in their class picture “it’s Haneul, she’s working in the treasury department just below our floor. Who would have thought the cheerleader would be working in the business and finance side?”

“And who would have thought the clumsy and sportsman Jaemin would become a surgeon” Chenle added in an attempt to lighten the mood, fiddling over the pages “and I know this guy works as a manager of one of our artists”

“Most of jocks in our class landed good positions in the sports field” Donghyuck comments “Oh, I remember the chess club. Jisung was in it and I remember him trying to convince me for the try outs which I bailed and he got in alone.”

“And I’m still having a grudge over that” Jisung groans.

“And remember these popular wannabes?” Chenle smirks “they used to line up to get into Jaemin’s pants but none of them even succeeded”

As more pages they uncovered, more laughter erupted between them. Doonghyuck continued to gossip a lot about the people he recognized— he was the most sociable among them after all. Chenle, Jisung, and Renjun intervened from here and there while Jaemin contributed what he can recall.

“Who is this?”

It was as if the pregnant pause and cold air had returned once again when Jaemin pointed at a certain person. But this time, it was much heavier and gloomier as the thunder outside growled loudly that even Chenle and Donghyuck got startled.

“W-well he” Donghyuck bites his lower lip as the three exchanged weary glances to one another “I- I think we really shouldn’t talk about him”

Jaemin’s eyebrows furrowed. It was the only class photo where the certain person is seen, that particular face is never shown in the other candid photos. “Why?”

“He…”

“He’s bad news” It was Jisung who spoke “Lee Jeno”

“I thought we wouldn’t speak of him?” Chenle loudly that Jaemin is left surprised.

“What about him?”

Renjun sighs and shakes his head “Jaemin, we really shouldn’t”

“Why?” it was Jaemin’s turn to be frustrated “Don’t I deserve to know if it involves me?”

“Remember when I told you about trauma?” Renjun shifts his body to look at Jaemin properly “Lee Jeno is part of that. A part of your past that’s better to be forgotten”

Jaemin is starting to feel nauseous. His hands and feet turn cold, his chest burning. It was as if Lee Jeno is a landmine his friends wanted to avoid. But Jaemin wanted to know.

“Please tell me” Jaemin declares “I can’t live my whole life knowing that there’s something in my past that _you_ know that I shouldn’t. Even if it’s to protect me”

“Maybe it’s alright” Donghyuck exhales “he won’t hurt you anymore.”

“It all started a few months after you transferred”

* * *

Jaemin transferred during his senior year of high school. It was unethical but his parents’ job required him to move from town to town. He got along with his classmates very well. Mark, the class president made sure to welcome him and introduced Jaemin to his group of friends Donghyuck, Renjun, Chenle, and Jisung.

He eventually found out that Mark and Donghyuck were dating. Renjun was running for valedictorian and Chenle would treat them to food from time to time and giving them expensive gifts on their birthdays. Jisung was actually a year younger than them but his academic excellence made him skip class which made Jaemin dote on him like a baby brother.

“You got along with everyone. Almost everyone” Dongyuck says “Lee Jeno didn’t go to school much. He skipped classes from time to time. It’s no mystery if you never remembered him.”

Jaemin kept quiet, listening to Donghyuck’s every word.

Donghyuck continues, “By the second term, you started hanging out less with us. At first we didn’t mind it. We thought you were just with your teammates, you know. After all, you still talk with us at school and on the weekends. But we were wrong.”

“One day your soccer coach came to us” it was Renjun who intervened “he was looking for you because you keep skipping practice. That’s when we realized something is wrong.”

“We confronted you but you shrugged it off saying you found an interesting hobby. We knew you were hiding something and you wouldn’t tell us so we kept observing you”

Chenle interposes “We noticed you on your phone a lot, smiling. Sometimes you would come to us out of nowhere with a bright smile plastered on your face. Then it hit us. We weren’t sure but we had a great hunch you started dating someone.”

“You wouldn’t tell us no matter how much we pried” Donghyuck carries on “so we let you. After all, we couldn’t force you but at least we knew you were preoccupied with something or _someone_. What’s important is that you were happy and we were happy for you. We trust that you would tell us eventually when you’re ready”

Jaemin hums in agreement “So what has Lee Jeno got to do with it?”

“By the third term, it’s like you changed all of a sudden” Renjun says “I know you were a friendly person so it wasn’t unusual if you befriended Lee Jeno when you were once paired in biology class. I remember it very well because after that, you just disappeared. You even ditched us when we promised to hang out after class. It was the first time you broke our promise because no matter how busy you are or preoccupied, you wouldn’t leave us hanging like that.”

“Then one day Jeno started going to school more.” He continues “we also stated noticing he keeps looking at your direction. Sometimes he would just call you out, at times he would yank you pretty harshly. It crept us out to the point that Mark even confronted him about it. Everything went downhill from there on.”

“At gym class while we were changing in the locker room, we noticed something very odd” Donghyuck points at Jaemin “a fresh cigarette burn mark on your chest”

Jaemin clutched his shirt as the hairs on his arms and back of the neck rose. He was sure Donghyuck is referring to the small scar above his surgical scar “H-how would you know it was a cigarette burn? I don’t even remember how I got it”

“I know what it looks like. When my little sister was small, she accidentally burned herself by playing with one of dad’s cigarettes. Yours looked worse though, as if someone made your skin their ashtray” Donghyuck replies “We asked you about it but you ignored us. Something about you that day seemed off. Then strange bruises start appearing on your skin. That’s when the bullying started and we knew it was Jeno”

“Jeno was the only known smoker in our class.” Jisung cut in “everyone admired you but Jeno looked at you differently. He would follow you and send you messages. He stalked you, Jaemin”

Jaemin’s head starts ringing again. He sees the classroom, the rooftop, and the smoke once again. Jaemin could remember the scent of cigarettes and the voice— an incoherent voice that echoes in his head.

“He was your stalker, Jaemin. A stalker who turned violent”

“You began to distance yourself from us.” Chenle spoke quietly beside Jaemin “You started ignoring us all throughout our senior year. We knew something was going on between you and Lee Jeno but we were too afraid to ask. Then Mark just snapped.”

“He told us he was going to confront Lee Jeno about you but he never returned” Chenle continues with a shaky voice “last thing we knew, some students found him lying in a pool of blood behind the economics room. Police said he was pushed from the rooftop but we never found the culprit.”

“We tried to tell the police about Mark and Lee Jeno but they couldn’t find any strong evidence against him so he was set free” Renjun says with spite in his tone.

Chenle places his hand above Jaemin “And we think that’s what made Lee Jeno angrier. Because after that, you were next”

“Lee Jeno was the cause of your accident”

Jaemin is rendered speechless. He wanted to process everything his friends say but it is as if their words and voices jumble together.

Then the voice inside his head became clearer.

_Do you want to know what pain feels like?_

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning:
> 
> Before you proceed, please take note that this is only a work of fiction. None of the things written here are completely factual. This is only a product of imagination combined with literature. The contents of this story might be triggering to some so if you want to continue, please proceed with caution.

* * *

Jaemin’s heart pounds loudly that he can be certain everyone in the room can hear it.

_Lee Jeno was the cause of your accident._

“The four of us started to get worried about you” Donghyuck starts “because even if you ignored us, you were still our precious friend. You were a part of us. We already lost Mark to that monster and we couldn’t let him take one of us anymore.”

He continues, “Then one day after class, we figured we would go look for you in one of your clubs. We wanted you to stick with us before Lee Jeno could get a hold of you but we were too late.”

“We just saw your bloody figure lying at the bottom of the stadium. You were unconscious and there was so much blood. We immediately ran to you as you fought for your life and Lee Jeno was standing a few feet from you, blood in his uniform and knife in his hand.”

“Luckily your coach was nearby and we called for him. That psychopath didn’t even try to escape. He just stood there looking at your dying figure before he was dragged by the police”

“We were so thankful you survived and Lee Jeno was put to prison” Chenle tightens his grip on Jaemin’s hand “We didn’t know what we would do if you were gone and that murderer escapes again unscathed”

Jaemin exhales heavily as he croaks out in a trembling voice, “I-is he still in prison?”

“He’s gone, Jaemin” Renjun says “he was killed in prison. He won’t hurt you anymore”

Even with a calm expression and soothing voice, Renjun’s words deem ineffective to calm Jaemin’s nerves. Jaemin wanted to vomit. Everything was so overwhelming. He excuses himself to the bathroom and his friends nodded in understanding. Chenle offered to accompany him but Jaemin refused the gesture.

“I’ll be fine” he says before leaving the group.

* * *

Jaemin lets the cold water against his face. His heart is still pounding so heavily he feels as if he could choke. The image of Lee Jeno in the yearbook, the afternoon in the rooftop, and the familiar scent of cigarette blowing against his sweaty face— it was the boy Jaemin had been with in the rooftop, the owner of the voice repeating in his head.

_Do you want to know what pain feels like?_

Jaemin closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, clutching the porcelain white lavatory. The sounds of cicadas were long gone, replaced by the violent sound of the heavy rain coupled with the tremendous wind. Yet even with the chaos, the creaking sound of the door opening wakes Jaemin from his trail of thoughts.

He sees his reflection in the mirror once again, ajar door right behind him. Jaemin know he properly closed the door, it was impossible for the wind to open it from the inside.

“Chenle?” Jaemin voices out in a careful voice.

No one responded.

Jaemin clears his throat and calls out once again, “Chenle? Guys?”

Jaemin’s breath hitches when the door opens wider. From the mirror, his face begins to pale and the awful feeling in his stomach starts to grow. “T-this isn’t a funny joke”

The lights in the bathroom frantically blink and Jaemin stood frozen— both in horror and surprise as he sees a figure of a smiling man in the hallway before everything blacks out.

* * *

“He’s awake”

Jaemin opens his eyes at the sound of Chenle’s voice. The fluorescent light beams through his lashes as he flutters them open, squinting at the harshness. “What happened?” He voices out.

“We heard a loud thud from the living room” Renjun answers, handing Jaemin an ice compress “we just found you out cold on the bathroom floor. What happened to _you_?”

“I…” Jaemin breathes out, trying to recall the memory “The door opened then the lights went off and I… I think I saw something— _someone_ ”

“We were all in the living room, Jaemin” Donghyuck says, aiding Jaemin to sit up straight.

“I swear I saw a man’s figure in the hallway” Jaemin pushes “I don’t know… it’s like I just saw Lee Jeno”

“That’s impossible” Renjun counters “Lee Jeno is dead. We shouldn’t have told you about your past. I’m sorry, Jaemin”

“Probably but” Jaemin bites his lower lip as he fiddles with his fingers “I— I feel like I’m being watched lately. Sometimes it feels like I’m not even alone”

Renjun sighs as he pats Jaemin’s back “You’re probably tired and stressed from work already. You must’ve been seeing things”

Jisung sits down and shows Jaemin his phone screen “If you’re still not sure, here’s the article about Lee Jeno’s death”

Jaemin looks at the screen and reads the article. _Seventeen year-old prisoner mutilated, murderer still unidentified._

_Lee Jeno, seventeen year-old, is found mutilated inside his jail cell. The seventeen year old is a detainee in juvenile holding cell who was charged for murder and attempted murder of two of his classmates._

Jaemin feels the dread once again knowing that the article talked about Mark and him. It doesn’t help that the article also shows the mutilated body of Lee Jeno lying on the floor.

_Lee Jeno’s face has been severely disfigured. His teeth had all been taken out and his fingertips were cut off. The M.O. is still a mystery. His jail mates and jail officers confirmed his identity._

“The way he was killed” Jaemin croaks out in almost a whisper “wasn’t it the same as that recent murder?”

“You mean the serial killings?” Renjun asks, sitting beside Jaemin “I don’t really know if it counts as one. I’ve been following the news from time to time and those killings were all over the place. Sometimes two bodies are found at two opposite sides of Korea.”

“It may just be a killer wannabe” Jisung interjects “remember the _Zodiac_?”

“You watch to many shows Jisung” Donghyuck scoffs before Jisung could protest some more “getting back to Jaemin, why don’t we just play a game?”

A sound of ringtone startles the group into silence. Jaemin hurriedly picks up his phone, alert with the familiar sound. “Sorry, gotta pick this”

“Take your time with your honey, sweetie” Donghyuck teases before Jaemin excuses himself at the corner while the remaining group takes their time rearranging the living room.

Once Jaemin was finished, Donghyuck interjects “Jaemin, we decided to play _truth or dare_. Do you have empty wine bottles?”

“So, what’s with your boyfriend?” Chenle asks.

Jaemin gets one from the bar counter and hands it to his friends before sitting with them in a circle. “He says he’s stuck in traffic. If the storm doesn’t subside, he might check in to a hotel somewhere”

“Okay!” Donghyuck claps to get everyone’s attention “Starting from now, no phones”

“What? Why?” Chenle whines.

“We’re playing a game! No one should disturb us. In the first place, we’re doing a sleepover. This is _our_ time. We don’t even know when we’ll have this opportunity next so no boyfriends or businesses tonight.” Donghyuck holds out his hand while the group hesitantly give their phones.

Chenle raises his hand “Wait! Shouldn’t at least one of us have it? For emergency purposes”

The others nodded as Donghyuck contemplates. “Fair enough. Proposal accepted.” The tanned man then spins the bottle and declares that whomever it lands gets to have his phone. By the time the bottle stops, it lands on Jaemin’s direction.

“Seems like we’ll be hearing from the boyfriend from time to time then” Renjun snickers while Donghyuck elbows his side.

Chenle spins the bottle and it lands on Jaemin once again. The Chinese squeals in happiness for having to ask the first question “Jaemin, truth or dare?”

Jaemin smiles and says “Truth”

“Have you mistakenly entered a woman’s toilet—“

“What the fuck Chenle?” Donghyuck cuts off “This is a reunion sleepover! Don’t ask such boring questions. Do raunchier ones, watch me.”

“Jaemin, where’s the riskiest place you’ve ever had sex in?”

Renjun and Chenle both snicker while Jaemin only smiles widely, “I’m not sure if it’s risky but recently, me and my boyfriend went to a party and had sex in a room beside unconscious strangers.”

“I didn’t think you’d honestly answer that but go off, Jaemin!” Donghyuck cheers and looks at Chenle “Now this is how you play the game”

Jaemin turns the bottle and it lands on Jisung. The tall man immediately says “Dare!” before Jaemin could even speak.

“Okay” Jaemin smiles slyly “I dare Jisung to kiss Donghyuck on the mouth for five seconds”

“Holy shit, Jaemin might be a better player at this game” Chenle screeches before turning to the disappointed Jisung “You brought this upon yourself, man. Now do it!”

While Chenle smiles from ear to ear seeing his friends suffer in an unwanted lip lock, Renjun turns to glare at Jaemin which the latter only returned with a wink.

Renjun proposes to spin the next bottle, landing it on Jaemin once again.

“Today really is your day, Jaemin” Donghyuck says in a warning tone.

Jaemin challenges, “Truth”

Renjun leans in confidently as if pulling an ace card up his sleeve, “What’s your favourite sex position?”

“Spicy” Chenle butts in “is that too personal, Jaemin?”

“I don’t mind” Jaemin answers nonchalantly “I like positions where I could see my boyfriend. Missionary is intimate but it’s deeper when I ride him”

“Fuck, Jaemin isn’t even flustered” Donghyuck raises both his arms and groans in frustration. “Only Jisung’s the one getting flustered here”

“Of course” Chenle sneers “who wouldn’t when you hear your old crush’s sex life? Jaemin, is your boyfriend into kinky stuff?”

Jaemin raises a brow “Can you ask two questions in this game?”

Chenle shrugs “Just curious. Worth a shot though”

“What the hell, I’ll go get some more snacks” Donghyuck announces, dusting himself off.

“How does it feel when Jaemin beats you to your own game?” Chenle says rhetorically in which Donghyuck replies with a middle finger.

* * *

Two bowls of popcorn are filled when Donghyuck hears shuffling movement and the refrigerator door opening. Relieved with a company, he eases himself and leans on the counter “Man, this rain is really pouring down”

There was no response behind him, but Donghyuck hears the refrigerator door closing so he decides to face his company “Why are you so quiet—“

Donghyuck blinks in confusion when he sees no presence around him so he clears his throat. His friends are probably pulling a prank on him.

* * *

“So which one of y’all bitches did that?” Donghyuck declares after arriving with two bowls in his hand.

“Did what?” Renjun asks.

Donghyuck puts the bowl on the carpet “Entered the kitchen and gave me a silent treatment”

“No one did” Jisung answers “we were all here”

The tanned male raises a brow “You can’t scare me like that”

“It’s true” Chenle cuts in “we were too busy teasing Jaemin because his boyfriend called briefly while you were at the kitchen”

Donghyuck turns to Renjun for confirmation. At least he could trust his boyfriend but the said man only nodded in agreement saying “No one left their positions except you—“

Renjun’s words were cut off the moment they hear an explosion and all the lights turned off. The windows started shaking and the shadows of the trees outside move frantically as if alive. The thunder begins to roar loudly, white lights flashing inside the pitch black house.

“The breakers are in the basement. Let me check” Jaemin proposes “If we’re lucky, there might be some emergency lights in there too.”

“I think we should all go” Donghyuck says “it’s safer if we’re all together”

* * *

The group proceeds to walk blindly against the darkness. Jaemin leads his friends, hands searching for walls to touch. Once they reach the basement, Jaemin scurries to find the breakers. With the aid of the only light from a clerestory window, Jaemin manages to find the metal boxes.

“I don’t get it” Jaemin croaks out in confusion.

Renjun stands next to Jaemin “Are the wires fried?”

“Yes but” Jaemin checks the other wires, showing it to Renjun “only one. The others were cut”

“What if someone’s inside?” Jisung says with a trembling voice, clutching Chenle’s arm “All of us were together when the lights went off, right?”

As if on cue, they hear strange sounds from the floor above the basement. The five men kept still, thinking about their next move. The noise silenced and each of them let their breaths out.

“All these talks we’ve had plus the storm is messing with our minds” Renjun declares, sighing as he looks up to the window “Why don’t we lock up all doors and windows so we can be sure that we’re safe?”

“But this house is massive” Chenle comments “it will take us forever. I don’t see any emergency light too”

“Why don’t we split up?” Donghyuck suggests “let’s have groups of two and three. I’ll be here on the first floor”

“Then I’ll take the second floor” Jaemin adds “I at least know my way around better than you guys. But there are many rooms upstairs so I’ll need two more people if that’s okay with you”

Renjun walks towards the tanned male “Then I’ll be with Hyuck”

“Renjun, need I remind you that even if we say _group_ , we’ll still have to split up for things to get done much faster” Chenle says.

Renjun stayed silent in contemplation. Chenle only sighs “I’ll be with Hyuck. Jaemin, Jisung and you are better for the larger group. Plus, you have Jaemin who knows his way around”

Much to Renjun’s dismay, Chenle was right. Without any further protests, he lets himself be lead by Jaemin through the endless halls while Donghyuck and Chenle bid their good lucks.

Once the three were out of sight, Chenle turns to Donghyuck “Where did you put our phones again?”

“Oh” Donghyuck purses his lips “Fuck, I forgot about our phones. It’s somewhere in the living room but with this darkness, it might take a while”

“Idiot” Chenle snarls “well, we could wait for Jaemin to get back here or you take the living room and search for the phones while you’re locking”

“Fair enough”

* * *

“Shit” Renjun curses.

“What’s wrong?” Jisung asks worriedly.

“Donghyuck hid our phones, remember?” Renjun says with a tone of frustration “How could I forget such a thing. _This_ is an emergency.”

“It’s fine.” Jaemin says calmly “We were all anxious back there. If you’re worried, you can take my phone” Jaemin takes the device from his back pocket and hands it to Renjun “Hopefully Hyuck remembers and searches for yours soon”

“I’ll take that side” Jisung points at the end of the hall where there’s a terrace “at least there’s some source of light”

Renjun clears his throat “Fine, I’ll take the centre area. At least I have you” he points to Jisung then to Jaemin “and you between me”

“Just leave the door open when you’re inside. If you’re still scared, use my phone’s light” Jaemin recommends before turning “Then that leaves me on this side”

* * *

Jisung exhales loudly as he nears his destination. He didn’t expect it to be such a long walk. Turning slowly, he looks at the empty, darkened hallway that looks like an endless abyss. Renjun and Jaemin have probably entered their respective rooms judging by the silence.

Clearing his throat, Jisung starts to lock up the glass doors. The silhouettes of the trees make Jisung feel uneasy, as if there’s actually someone outside. Jisung tries to shrug the thought, concentrating on his task. Then a single flicker catches his attention.

Jisung’s eyes carefully trace along the glass door. He sees the flicker once again from the reflection, a fiery red glow that seems to disappear slowly. Jisung gulps, fixating his eyes on the glass and waiting for _that_ thing to glow again. And there it was.

He whips his head around as fast as he can but he was welcomed with total darkness. “Renjun? Jaemin?” Jisung calls out loudly.

Jaemin responds first then Renjun, asking if he was alright. “Yes” Jisung replies, exhaling a sigh of relief. He must have been imagining things. He chuckles to himself, turning back on the glass door when he feels an uncomfortable dread inside him.

On the other side of the door, a fresh handprint meets Jisung’s widening eyes.

* * *

Renjun fiddles with Jaemin’s phone in a increased speed to turn on the flashlight. The sudden bright gleam startles the man but immediately composes himself. He treads though the floor with ease, having been provided with the aid of light. He checks the windows with haste, praying for it to be over soon.

Renjun is startled when he hears Jisung’s voice calling for him and Jaemin. The latter answers first much to Renjun’s relief and then he responds.

Relieved, Renjun relaxes himself thoroughly. It was even ridiculous to think that someone else could be in the house when all of them had been together for hours. When Renjun thought he could completely be at ease, he hears a low chuckle from the door.

His trembling hand slowly lifts Jaemin’s phone, directing it towards the hallway. Renjun’s breath hitches when he sees a figure of a man dressed in black outside the door. His fear causes him to drop the phone, waking him up from his trance. He immediately retracts the device and flashes it towards the hallway.

He sees nothing.

And the door immediately closes.

* * *

Jaemin had just finished two rooms when he hears Jisung’s call. He responds first then hears Renjun’s after his. With a sigh, Jaemin thinks he should check on his friends. Walking along the darkened hallway, Jaemin catches a whiff of a certain reminiscent smell.

A certain cigarette scent.

Jaemin clears his throat as he slowly strides along the concrete floor and mindlessly following the scent. He halts his steps at the stairs, eyes travelling to a single light casted at the bottom of the stairs and Jaemin freezes.

There he was, standing at the bottom of the stairs looking straight through Jaemin’s eyes.

Lee Jeno smiles, putting his forefinger in his lips ‘ _Shh’_

“Jaemin!”

Jaemin turns around at the sound of Renjun’s voice. The said man was out of breath, alongside Jisung who was at his tail. Jaemin finds it hard to comprehend the situation at hand and instead, he turns his gaze back to the now empty staircase.

“W-what happened?” Jaemin asks, eyes still lingering.

“Jaemin, crazy as it may sound” Renjun huffs “we think somebody’s here”

Before Jaemin could even ask more questions, a deafening shriek startles the group.

“Oh god” Renjuns gasps “That sounds like Donghyuck!”

* * *

“What happened?” Renjun screams as he tumbles around the furniture, scurrying to get into Donghyuck.

By the time Jisung and Jaemin reaches their friends, the find Donghyuck lying on the kitchen floor writhing in pain. Jaemin immediately grabs few towels from the pantry and hurries to Donghyuck’s aid.

“Hyuck, breathe” Jaemin says as he hands the towels to Renjun. Donghyuck has a knife stuck on his arm and asks Jisung to hold him down as while Renjun places a towel in his mouth. “Bite as hard as you can. You’re going to be fine” Jaemin then wraps his hand carefully on the handle and pulls the weapon out of his friend’s arm.

Donghyuck’s muffled scream fills the quiet enclosure as Jaemin tends to his injuries. In a soft voice, Donghyuck hears Jisung ask “What happened?”

“I don’t know” Donghyuck croaks out in exhaustion “But I know that there’s someone here and Chenle’s probably in danger”

“Where’s Chenle?” Jaemin questions.

“He’s around the basement” Donghyuck groans “he have to go”

Renjun holds Donghyuck’s other arm and asks if he could stand and Donghyuck manages to nod. “Jisung, help me with Hyuck. Hold his waist”

Jaemin takes the lead while both Renjun and Jisung carry Donghyuck. Jisung calls of Chenle but is immediately shushed by Renjun “Somebody’s trying to kill us. Don’t lead them where we are”

* * *

They walk in silence and Jaemin feels the anxiety swallowing him up. The further they walk the more impending dread Jaemin feels. The image of Lee Jeno’s sinister smile in his mind never escaped. He had that same smile Jaemin remember when he was at the rooftop.

It made Jaemin’s blood run cold.

“Are you guys still fine?” Jaemin asks in a small voice yet he hears no response. Jaemin turns around and realizes he is alone. Before he could move further, a blunt force had hit him and Jaemin finds himself on the floor with his head ringing.

In a quiet voice, he hears “You should’ve hit harder, Chenle”

Jaemin recognizes that voice, it was Renjun. He tries to speak but no voice came out from his mouth.

“Enough chitchat, let’s just hurry to the basement” Donghyuck whispers.

“I heard you screaming. What happened?” Chenle asks.

“We are not alone. Someone tried to kill me” Donghyuck replies “And if you don’t hurry up and open the door, it will be us who gets killed”

“What— why?” Jaemin speaks in a broken voice.

“Oh, Jaemin” Donghyuck sighs “did you think it was a coincidence that we were all in the same area? That we were all suddenly available for a childish reunion?”

Jaemin breathes heavily “Why are you doing this?”

“Maybe if you didn’t forget what happened ten years ago, you would’ve wished you didn’t survive” Renjun replies with spite.

“We had a different plan, but having a killer on the loose kill you might be better. That way, we don’t need to sully our hands again.” Donghyuck says mockingly “You shouldn’t have survived ten years ago. You should have just died. It was really shitty when we heard you were alive and then you fucking forgot everything.

From a distance, Chenle’s voice can be heard “Guys, hurry up”

Jaemin tries to lift himself up “Jisung, please help me”

Jisung crouches down and grabs a handful of Jaemin’s hair “You wouldn’t be in this situation if you didn’t reject me, Jaemin. I would have made you happy. _We_ could have been happy.”

“Jisung, let’s go”

Jaemin hears Jisung sigh “But it’s too late to ask for my forgiveness. It’s regretful you forgot what happened but at least this time, as you die, you know we fucking hate your guts”

The sound of the door closing made Jaemin’s body heat rise as he lay on the cold, hard floor. His head feels like it has been smashed and his heart pounds so loudly, warm blood trickles down his face as he starts to lose consciousness.

But the growing scent of cigar heightens Jaemin’s adrenaline. The sounds of footsteps grow closer as if knowing where Jaemin exactly is despite the darkness.

Jaemin _knows_ that smell and voice.

“Just like the old times. Do you remember what pain feels like, Jaemin?”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE NCT DREAM DON'T TAKE THIS STORY PERSONALLY. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO NCT DREAM!!


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

“Hush, I hear footsteps” Chenle whispers, his head against the door.

Jisung huffs as he leans on the table “Do you think the killer already found Jae—“

An inhumane shriek interrupts Jisung and the other three freezes in shock. It was definitely Jaemin’s voice crying desperately and begging for help.

Donghyuck groans as he sits down “Shit, our phones are still outside”

“Don’t worry” Renjun sits beside his injured lover “I have Jaemin’s phone with me”

The four men sit quietly as they continuously hear Jaemin’s muffled screams getting quieter, as if being dragged away.

“Call 911” Chenle says. “We have to get out of here somehow”

With trembling fingers, Renjun opens Jaemin’s phone and dials the emergency number. However, the call doesn’t get through no matter how many times he redials. “Shit, what’s wrong with this phone?”

“Oh god.” Donghyuck groans “we’re going to be stuck here while there’s a killer out there and I’m injured”

“What about Jaemin’s boyfriend?” Chenle suggests “He’s been calling Jaemin since earlier, right?”

Renjun sighs and begins to look into the phone’s contact numbers. Shaking his head, he gasps in disbelief. “What the fuck”

Jisung moves closer to the lovers “What’s wrong?”

The clerestory window begins to shake violently from the harsh wind and the sound of the thunder reverberates through the silent room. Four friends sat still looking at the small screen.

“There’s nothing in here” Renjun speaks “No contacts, no incoming or outgoing calls. Nothing.”

“That’s impossible” Chenle interposes “We saw the caller I.D., Jaemin’s phone never left our sight, and you were holding onto it since earlier”

“But there’s none.” Renjun pushes, scanning through messages, emails, and even photos. “It’s as if everything’s been erased or there was none to begin with.”

Jisung gets up and begins tapping the basement walls in haste.

“What are you doing?” Donghyuck asks.

“Finding a backdoor” Jisung replies in a whisper. As he goes further into the darkness, he pauses after smelling a very odd scent. “Can you smell that?”

“Smell what?” Renjun get’s up and moves closer to Jisung’s direction “What is that awful smell?”

“Jun, use the phone’s flashlight” Chenle says after sitting next to Donghyuck who continues to groan in pain.

What flashes before their eyes made their stomachs boil. They see two bloody bodies wrapped in plastic sheets, their faces all slashed and deformed. Jisung beings to vomit while Renjun has his hand covering his mouth “Oh god”

“I-is that—“ Before Chenle could finish his sentence, they hear a clicking sound from the direction of the door.

“Oh, you found my collection” There was playfulness beneath the stranger’s tone.

The four men gasp in shock. Donghyuck clutches Chenle’s arm tightly “Y-you’re alive? The news”

“Of course I am. No forensic tests were done after all, it was all so easy.” Jeno responds in a low chuckle “I have been alive for the past ten years. Walking among faceless people and working like a typical citizen. I live freely yet I still enjoy lurking in the shadows”

Renjun scoffs, “You psychopath”

“If I were a psychopath, then what are you?” Jeno begins to walk closer, light casting on the sinister smile painted on his bloody face “Didn’t you intend to kill Jaemin under the pretence of friendship?”

“How the fuck did you get in here?” Chenle growls, looking at a baseball bat covered with fresh blood on Jeno’s hand “Jaemin”

“I know my way around this house” Jeno responds nonchalantly, playfully swaying the weapon over his shoulder “I’ve been watching Jaemin for ten years. I look at his unguarded sleeping figure, the way he unknowingly changes his clothes. I silently watch when he showers, letting beads of water caress his beautiful, soft skin.” Jeno smirks, his eyes boring through Jisung’s “And my personal favourites are the melodious sound of his voice and the face he makes while being fucked.”

“You’re still a stalker” Jisung says with malice, his voice filled with growing anger. “You’ve always looked at Jaemin with hungry eyes”

“Please don’t misunderstand. I’m not like you” Jeno utters with an innocent smile as he brushes his fingers against his raven locks “Oh, I’m sorry. Did you prefer my blonde hair? I was sure Jaemin showed you a photo of mine.”

“Oh my god” The four men stood frozen in fear. The phone in Renjun’s hand rings, startling the others. But what shows on the screen made the hairs on their skin rise. _Honey_

Weary looks were exchanged between the, before Renjun presses the answer button. They hear a static and a familiar, chuckling voice says “Are you going crazy?”

Renjun deliberately throws the phone out of shock and looks at Jeno’s unwavering smile “What the fuck was that?”

“Are you going crazy?” the same voice emerges behind Jeno. Jaemin smiles as he locks the door behind him, trapping the six of them inside “Weren’t those the exact same words you told me before you pushed me?”

Jisung’s breath hitches “You’re still—“

“Alive?” Jaemin walks next to Jeno, circling his arms around the latter. He kisses Jeno’s cheek in a playful manner before looking back at the four distraught faces. “Why would Jeno kill me? That’s ridiculous. After all, Jeno’s been my boyfriend since high school.”

“You remember” Chenle shakes his head.

“I never forgot” Jaemin affectionately leans his head on Jeno’s shoulder as he emphasizes every word “I remember every single thing like it was yesterday”

* * *

Ten years ago

“My name is Na Jaemin, seventeen years old”

“Jaemin, I’m Miss Park” introduces the teacher as she points at the black haired man next to an empty seat “please sit next to Lee Mark. If you have any questions, feel free to ask him. He’s the class president”

After class, Mark and his friends introduce themselves to Jaemin. Each passing day, Jaemin began to bond with his friends and classmates. He was friendly and kind and everyone liked him.

“I don’t know why he bothers to come to school” Donghyuck says quietly, eyes on the rave haired newcomer.

“And he is?” Jaemin asks curiously, looking at the boy as he strides in their direction.

“Lee Jeno” Donghyuck answers. When Jaemin’s eyes meets with Lee Jeno, Jaemin smiles but is returned with a nonchalant expression. “Don’t even bother, Jaemin”

* * *

“You alone?” Jaemin says, smiling at the familiar boy who is sitting at the rooftop. The cast of afternoon glow makes Jaemin appreciate the scenery of youth he will miss once he graduates. Yet instead of the smell of earthly musk and afternoon sweat, he is welcomed with a cigarette smoke.

Lee Jeno didn’t even spare a single glance as he continues to blow against the air. Sighing, he gets up and dusts himself before looking at Jaemin straight into the eyes, “Your fake smile doesn’t suit your pretty face”

Jaemin could feel Jeno’s eyes boring through him. it was the first time someone called him out and it made Jaemin’s heart tingle with excitement. He moves closer to the ravenette, taking the cigarette stick out of the katter’s mouth.

Jaemin smirks before putting the cigarette on his own mouth, engulfing the poisonous air inside him.

* * *

Lee Jeno was intriguing. He was quiet yet he never pushed Jaemin away and Jaemin’s affection towards him only grew. He wasn’t sure if it was dependence or attachment, but he knew he just wanted Jeno.

“It’s because I lack emotion” Jaemin says one afternoon, finding solace at the familiar cigarette smell “I can’t feel sympathy or even pain”

“Have you ever felt pain?” Jeno questions, resting his eyes.

“I don’t think so” Jaemin responds “I didn’t even feel anything when my parents died”

“Do you want to know what pain feels like?”

Jaemin lets his gaze linger on Jeno’s peaceful face. He doesn’t respond but he knows Jeno already knows the answer.

Jeno opens his eyes slowly and meets Jaemin’s gaze “Then aren’t you just an emotionless doll?”

* * *

“Jaemin!” Donghyuck beams after the last bell rings.

Jaemin gives his tanned friend a smile “What is it?”

Donghyuck awkwardly smiles and scratches the back of his neck shyly “Jisung told me he has something to say to you. He wants to meet you behind the school gym”

“Really?” Jaemin tilts his head “Can’t he just tell me now?”

“I don’t know” Donghyuck shrugs with a sly smile “but I think both of you will be glad after this”

* * *

“Jaemin, I know that you care about me and I do care about you too. A lot” Jisung says, awkwardly shifting his tall body “and I want to take our relationship further if you’d like”

“What are you talking about”

Jisung exhales heavily before looking at Jaemin, grabbing both the latter’s hands “Would you go out with me?”

Jaemin stood in silence before scoffing. Jisung’s face is painted with confusion and Jaemin retracts his hands “I think you’re misunderstanding”

“Don’t you like me?” Jisung asks “wasn’t I special?”

“Special?” Jaemin repeats in a mocking voice “Don’t kid yourself, Jisung”

“But you’ve been flirting with me!” Jisung exclaims.

Jaemin moves closer to level his eyes with Jisung “I never flirted with you. You misunderstood my doting for a different kind of affection.” He then leans back and smirks “I’m not even interested in you the slightest bit”

* * *

“I think you broke the poor thing’s heart”

Jaemin beams at the sight of Jeno. Without second thoughts he scurries towards the latter and rests his head at the crook of Jeno’s neck. The warmth he feels when he is with Jeno is indescribable that Jaemin feels as if nothing could ever compare to it.

Meeting Jeno’s black orbs, Jaemin smiles tenderly “So?”

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still a continuation of the flashback
> 
> Trigger warning: contains cutting/ bodily harm

* * *

“Don’t you think Jaemin’s acting a little weird?” Donghyuck says as he munches one of Mark’s chicken. “Jisung, what in the world happened back there?”

Jisung bites his thumbnail “He dumped me, can you believe that? He acted different and weird—“

“Shh, he’s coming” Chenle taps Jisung and the group remained quiet.

“Hey!” Jaemin greeted with a wide grin and pinches Jisung’s cheek “What’s up?”

“I thought we’d be more awkward” Renjun scoffs.

Jaemin tilts his head innocently “Why would it be awkward?”

“Good morning, students” Miss Park enters with a pile of papers in her hands. “I’ve got your exam papers here and I must say I’m very proud because one of you got a perfect score”

“It’s probably Renjun again” Chenle shrugs uninterestingly “he’s the studious one among us”

Renjun smiles shyly as some of their friends and classmates congratulate him quietly. It might be too early but he studied his butt off to run for class valedictorian. After all, he needs to be on top to score that position.

“Na Jaemin” Miss Park announces happily. “Congratulations”

Mark, Donghyuck, and Chenle exchange uncomfortable glances while Jisung remained unaffected. Jaemin stands up to take his paper, receiving congratulatory claps from their classmates. Renjun on the other hand remained at his seat, eyes beginning to swell.

“W-wow Jaemin” Mark starts “I didn’t think you’d be the studious type”

Jaemin smiles beside his seatmate “I like studying”

* * *

“Did you see Jaemin’s face when he got his paper?” Donghyuck turn the faucet on to wash his hands.

“He looked like he was trying to mock me” Renjun responds, drying his hands with a toilet paper.

Jisung leans in on the counter, looking at his two friends “Do you think he’s trying to spite us?”

“We’ll see about that” Donghyuck smirks at his reflection on the mirror “he’ll get it if he tries to mess with me”

As the three friends come out of the bathroom, Jisung bumps into Jeno. The tall boy looks at the latter from head to toe and says “Freak”

“Careful, Jisung” Donghyuck chuckles “you don’t want to mess with weirdos”

Jeno enters the bathroom and sighs, “Didn’t think you’d be the type to eavesdrop”

Jaemin emerges from one of the bathroom stalls and smiles at Jeno’s presence. He walks over to the ravenette, leaning close as he sniffs Jeno’s scent “I enjoy seeing who they truly are, what they hide beneath their smiles.”

Jeno turns to look at Jaemin, cupping the younger man’s face. “To make up for what you lack?”

Jaemin nuzzles his face at the warmth of Jeno’s touch “There is so much going on in my mind I don’t know how to vent it out.” He looks at Jeno’s eyes “At least you’re with me”

Jeno’s fingers circle around Jaemin’s neck, clutching it firmly “You trust me too much”

“I have nothing to lose” The younger places his hand over Jeno’s “just as you said, I’m an emotionless doll”

* * *

Jaemin stares at the frog pinned down the table and blade in his hand. The smell of formalin and disinfectant fills Jaemin’s nostrils that his head begins to hurt. He never thought Biology class would be so nauseating and irritating.

“Are you scared?” Jeno’s voice rings against Jaemin’s ears that what he had felt seems to disappear in an instant.

Jaemin looks at Jeno’s hand placed securely on his thighs. The warm feeling of the touch makes Jaemin calm, his body tingling in a foreign heat. 

The moment Jaemin first cut into that frog’s skin, his heart pounded hysterically that Jaemin feels as if it would come out. Coupled with Jeno’s warm touch and guiding voice, Jaemin feels an incomprehensible feeling. Nothing mattered anymore. He couldn’t hear the teacher, he couldn’t hear his classmates— only Jeno’s voice reverberating though his body.

He hadn’t felt this before. It was new, it was scary, yet it excited Jaemin.

* * *

“I haven’t seen you smile this genuinely”

“Jeno!” Jaemin scurries though the empty rooftop, beaming in happiness as he embraces the ravenette.

“You enjoyed it didn’t you?” Jeno asks, puffing smoke in the vastness of afternoon sun. “Cutting”

Jaemin tightens his hold onto Jeno. He remembers the sensation as if he was in the exact moment he tore open the skin, “I-I liked it”

“If that’s the case” Jeno pulls Jaemin down, letting the younger straddle him. He brushes his hands slowly along Jaemin’s thigh with familiar affection, earning a low gasp from the younger. “Jaemin, what do you think about me?”

Jaemin traces his fingers along Jeno’s face, taking every detail to engrave in his memory “You’re so beautiful and perfect, Jeno.” He sighs as he feels Jeno’s firm hands going higher to his crotch. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Then I want you to cut me” Jeno places a blade on Jaemin’s hand “cut my hand Jaemin. Just like what you did with that frog”

“W-what?” Jaemin’s voice trembles as he shakes his head, confusion painted in his face.

“You want me don’t you?” Jeno pulls Jaemin close “then cut me”

Jaemin pales as Jeno forcefully leads his hand to cut his palm. Each movement makes Jaemin’s chest tighten and he couldn’t breathe. The sight of Jeno’s blood causes Jaemin’s tears to fall “Jeno, stop”

“It’s fine, Jaemin. I want to see how many emotions I can get from you.” Jeno encourages, moving Jaemin’s trembling hand. He kisses Jaemin’s tear stained face and whispers “I want to break you”

“Stop” Jaemin pleads, seeing Jeno’s blood trickle down his thighs “I don’t want this, Jeno. Stop”

Jeno takes Jaemin’s hand and throws away the blade. Jaemin immediately holds Jeno’s hand like a fragile piece of porcelain.

“Why?” Jaemin’s continues to wail, feeling tightness in his chest once again. But this time, it was the opposite of what he felt when he cut the frog. This time, he loathed the feeling. He didn’t want to see the perfect Jeno be defiled— Jaemin feared it.

Jeno calmly puffs out the smoke before pulling Jaemin’s face close “What you’re feeling is pain, Jaemin.” He unbuttons Jaemin’s uniform and touches Jaemin’s chest with his bleeding hand. He feels Jaemin’s heartbeat, savouring the heavy pounding.

“I don’t like this feeling, Jeno” Jaemin whines, cupping Jeno’s face “don’t make me do that again”

Jeno smiles before pulling Jaemin closer. Their lips touch in mutual affection, both hesitating to let go of one another. Jaemin could taste the lingering bitterness of cigarette, moving his lips with the same rhythm as the ravenette. Jeno begins to trail kisses along Jaemin’s jaw and neck while the latter whimpers from the foreign warmth.

They breathe heavily as they pull away. Yet even with the distance, their eyes remained at each other. Jaemin makes Jeno place his cigarette dangerously close to his chest and Jaemin could feel the heat against his bare skin.

“Mark me, Jeno” Jaemin proposes “Burn my skin so that this mark will remain in my body as long as I’m alive”

* * *

“Hey, Jaemin. Want to go dinner with us?” Mark asks as he sat next to Jaemin. “Chenle’s treating us”

Jaemin puts his notebooks in his bag “Thank you —“

“I think Jaemin has a date” Smirks Chenle, “he hasn’t been hanging out with his _friends_ ”

“He’s probably studying for the upcoming exams. Remember he has a record of perfect scores?” Renjun says in a sarcastic tone.

“I’ll go” Jaemin replies “it sure has been a while”

Donghyuck and Renjun exchange glances then the tanned male turns to Jaemin “Okay. So Chenle’s inviting us to this fancy restaurant in a hotel with a bar and all. We were thinking of partying after that. Is that cool with you?”

Jaemin nods in agreement “Sure”

* * *

“Say, Jaemin” Donghyuck leans in as they walk towards the hotel “are you dating anyone? You know you can tell me right?”

“Why would you ask that?” Jaemin questions.

“Lately you seem quite distant.” Donghyuck responds “I just want to say as your friend and Jisung’s friend, I don’t want things to be awkward with you two”

“I was never awkward with Jisung” Jaemin smiles “By the way, Mr Shim wanted me to tell you that you have a supplementary lesson with him tomorrow”

Donghyuck pauses his tracks “He told you?”

“Yeah” Jaemin nods “I was surprised Mr Shim has supplementary classes during Saturdays so I asked him about it”

“W-well I’m not really good at studying in the first place” The tanned male laughs nervously “What else did he tell you?”

“That’s all. Was he supposed to say something else?” Jaemin smiles slyly before leaving Donghyuck at the lobby.

* * *

“Chenle, thank you for treating us to this wonderful dinner” Donghyuck says. “The life of the rich is really different don’t you think, Jaemin?”

Jaemin gives Donghyuck a smile and turns to Chenle “You shouldn’t have but thank you for inviting me”

“Now, now” Chenle calms his friends down before going over the counter to pay.

“That’s Chenle for you” interjects Renjun “he’s family is richer than you can imagine. He’s probably the richest in school.”

“Guys, I’ll go to the restroom for a bit” Chenle declares as soon as he returns to the group.

“I’ll go with you” Jaemin states, standing up from his seat.

* * *

Chenle sighs as he opens his empty wallet. He curses at himself for not bringing extra cash for a taxi ride or even a train ride. A month’s worth of allowance gone in a week. He’ll have to make an excuse for one of his friends to drop him off. Opening the bathroom stall, he sees Jaemin leaning on the lavatory looking at him with a grim smile.

“Why do you have to pretend when they’re your friends?”

Chenle widens his eyes at the question “W-what are you talking about?”

Jaemin turns around to look at himself on the mirror “You’re broke yet you try to win your friends’ favour over money.” Jaemin’s eyes turn to Chenle’s reflection “Isn’t that pathetic?”

Chenle stood quietly as he sees Jaemin’s leaving figure from the bathroom. He looks at himself in the mirror, trying to calm himself yet the way he clutches his hands disprove otherwise.

* * *

“Chenle, you ready for the bar?” Donghyuck says excitedly, wrapping his arm around Mark affectionately.

Chenle gives an awkward smile “Guys, I don’t think—“

“Mr Na?”

The group looks at the newcomer with mutual curiosity. The woman is dressed in corporate attire, giving Jaemin a business smile. “The receptionist told me about your visit. Please inform us next time so we can arrange your accommodation.”

“Jaemin?” Mark voices out.

“This is Miss Kim, the hotel’s manager” Jaemin introduces as the lady beside him bows.

Donghyuck gives him a sideways glance “Do you come here often, Jaemin?”

“Mr. Na’s family owns our hotel” Miss Kim says with clear articulation. “However, I must apologize for interrupting you. I overheard your conversation and I wanted to inform you that our hotel will make sure you have a wonderful stay. Everything else including the bar and the food will be covered by the hotel as long as Mr Na wishes so.”

“Thank you, Miss Kim” Jaemin says and the woman curtly bows before leaving the group. Jaemin turns to Chenle and smiles “That won’t be a problem right, Chenle? I can arrange to drop all of you afterwards if you want”

* * *

Jaemin was supposed to smile, he was supposed to feel Jeno’s warm embrace the moment he steps out of that familiar rooftop. He was supposed to smell the familiar cigarette and bask in Jeno’s smiling face during their usual rendezvous.

But Jaemin’s smile turns into a scowl the moment he laid his eyes on Jeno. Jaemin feels as if his heart had dropped upon seeing Jeno’s bleeding face. He rushes to the latter, trembling as he cups Jeno’s face. In a shaky voice, he asks “W-what happened? Jeno, who did this to you?”

“Upperclassmen” Jeno replies, hissing at the cut on his mouth “They just attacked me”

Jaemin was speechless. He wanted to know why, he wanted to scream, and he wanted to _do_ something. Whoever did this to Jeno, Jaemin wanted to return it a hundred fold.

* * *

Jaemin heaves heavily, letting the warm shower ease the aching muscles in his body. He looks at the red tiles that were ones ivory white beneath his bloody feet.

“Did you enjoy cutting them up?” Jeno’s voice comes out behind Jaemin and the latter grins widely.

Jaemin turns around and looks at Jeno’s wet face, smelling the rustic scent of blood around them. He welcomes Jeno’s lips happily, indulging in the sweetness of their shared affection. “It feels so good”

“Us kissing or us killing?” Jeno questions playfully as he nibbles on Jaemin’s burn mark, grinding their bodies in the process.

Jaemin elicits a breathy moan that echoes around the tiled walls of the bathroom. His first kills felt like ecstasy that Jaemin feels as if he might get addicted to it. He loved seeing the desperate eyes of those men begging for their lives as Jaemin cuts through their flesh. It felt good to see them writhe in pain in return to what they did to Jeno.

They shouldn’t have touched Jeno to being with.

Jaemin recalls that memory over and over again.

_Please, we’re sorry. I beg you, don’t do this._

_They only asked us to do it! Your friends paid us!_

“You seem to be in deep thought”

Jeno’s voice awakens Jaemin from his trance and Jaemin couldn’t help but brush his fingers against Jeno’s raven locks “Kiss me more, Jeno. I want you in me”

* * *

Jaemin moans loudly as soon as he feels Jeno’s third finger inside. His slick tongue wrapped around Jeno’s throbbing member, threatening to erupt at any moment. Jaemin shivers hearing Jeno’s low growl when he tries to take more of the pulsating cock in. he wanted Jeno to feel good the way Jeno makes him feel.

“Jaemin” Jeno says breathily “I want to be inside you”

“Please” Jaemin croaks out, his jaw starting to strain. Jaemin positions himself comfortably, opening his legs wide for Jeno. His shaky hands travel between his crotch to spread himself even further “let me feel you, Jeno”

Jaemin sighs heavily, feeling burning stretch once the unfamiliar heat enters him. He feels as if he’s being split into two, yet the burning sensation felt so pleasurable his cock begins to throb painfully.

Once Jeno is fully inside, Jaemin’s body begins to tremble. He feels so full and so satisfied. Jaemin felt even better when he senses Jeno’s cock pulsating against his untouched walls.

“It’s so hot and tight inside you, Jaemin” Jeno groans, sweat trickling down on Jaemin underneath him. He begins to pull slowly only to thrust once again.

“Oh” Jaemin breathes out as he clutches the sheets beneath him. He squirms as Jeno continuously hits his sweet spot with every thrust. Jaemin feels his whole being succumb into Jeno, letting his body only be used by Jeno.

“Jeno, do it harder.” Jaemin pleads “Be rougher with me”

Jeno does exactly as what he is told, gripping both of Jaemin’s arms as he pushes with force “It’s going to leave bruises” he then kisses Jaemin’s burn mark with equal passion “But not as long as this”

“I want to feel the pain.” Jaemin breaths out, his body jerking in immeasurable pleasure “My heart hurts seeing you like this.” He opens his mouth to let Jeno kiss him, their tongues dancing together as Jeno dominates him.

“Jeno, I’ll make them pay”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is taking longer than I expected. But next chapter will really be the last.


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

“How was your weekend?” Jaemin sits in front of Donghyuck excitedly.

“Just the usual” Donghyuck answers in a confused tone.

“I bet Mr Shim is a good tutor” Jaemin smirks “especially with one on one. Does Mark know?”

“Of course.” Donghyuck responds uncomfortably “He’s my boyfriend after all”

“That’s not what you told Mr Shim, though? What was it again?” Jaemin says playfully, tapping his fingers on the tan male’s desk. He closes his eyes and moans “ _Harder. Faster?”_

“I wonder how many teachers were fooled with that.” Jaemin continues “Surely those stinky old men are not worth it to pull your grades up. But what can you do? You’re lazy and you hate to study. But I guess your talent in bed makes up for it”

Their classmates got startled the moment Donghyuck slams his hands on his desk. He clears his throat, hissing at Jaemin “You’re messing with the wrong person, Jaemin”

“Am I?” Jaemin tilts his head innocently “You should have thought of that before you messed with Jeno”

“So you are with that freak” Donghyuck says with spite, his eyes looks straight into Jaemin “It makes sense because the two of you are total freaks”

“But I would never cheat on my boyfriend” Jaemin pouts before standing up “or even spread my legs for teachers for better grades”

* * *

“What do you want with us?”

“What do I want, Renjun?” Jaemin mockingly returns the question.

“I don’t know what’s up with you but you’re pulling dangerous tricks” Renjun warns “Do you enjoy making fun of us?”

Jaemin sighs and leans his back on the wall “I never pulled any trick, Renjun. I’ve always been completely honest.” He plays with his fingernails, not even interested at Renjun’s presence “What about you, are you honest?”

“Are you coming for me now?”

“I don’t need to when the truth always comes out, right?” Jaemin finally faces the other man “Say Renjun, how did you do on our test?”

“I’m confident with my answers Jaemin” Renjun’s lip twitches “And if you think you scoring higher than me can piss me off, dream on. I’m not falling for your traps”

“That’s great then. Because when I asked about our papers, Miss Park told me she’s rechecking them.” Jaemin grins as he waits for Renjun’s expression to shift “Apparently, she messed up her answer keys”

Renjun’s face contorted in a mixture of confusion and shock.

“But you don’t have anything to worry about, right?” Jaemin continues, “After all, you’re very studious. You don’t need to sneak into the faculty room to take photos of the answer keys, right?”

Jaemin begins to walk away, leaving Renjun who stood frozen in his spot. He comes across Jisung in the hall, looking at him with desperate eyes. “Jaemin” Jisung speaks “please tell me it isn’t true about you and Jeno. I understand you better than him”

“Don’t be too full of yourself, Jisung. You’re being delusional. I want Jeno and you’re not him” Jaemin smirks before walking away.

* * *

Jaemin halts his steps the moment his arm is grabbed “Jaemin, stop this.”

Jaemin turns around and faces the man. He shifts himself, yanking his arm away “Why Mark. It’s nice to see you well”

“Stop pretending Jaemin. Is this all about Jeno?” Mark asks firmly “Fine, we’ll leave you two alone. Don’t involve yourselves with us anymore or you’ll be playing a dangerous game”

“Donghyuck really got you wrapped around his fingers doesn’t he?” Jaemin sneers “Even with all the deceit—“

“I am aware.” Mark cuts off but Jaemin doesn’t miss the latter clutching his jaw “But I know Donghyuck loves me. After we graduate, everything will be fine”

“Will it?” Jaemin scoffs “So you’re just going to turn a blind eye over your boyfriend being fucked by countless, nameless men?”

Mark punches Jaemin in a swift motion. His hand trembles as he huffs out air “I love him, Jaemin. Not that you would understand. Jeno doesn’t love you. You two are just sick”

Jaemin wipes the blood from his lip. He looks at the red smudge at the back of his hand, eyes slowly dilating. Jaemin regains his composure and smirks at the raging man before him “But I am not just talking about the teachers, Mark. Sometimes it’s those that are the closest to you are the ones who betray you.”

* * *

“I heard Mark fell to his death?”

“Yeah, it was ridiculous” Jeno snakes his hands inside Jaemin’s shirt, finding purchase at the warm, soft skin “It was like watching a play and having front row seat.”

Jaemin whimpers when he feels Jeno’s fingers brush against his hardening nipples. He moans at the touch, feeling Jeno’s erection between his legs “If you enjoy watching so much, why don’t you try doing more to me? I’m sure you’ll feel even better”

Jeno captures Jaemin’s lips into a long kiss as he grinds their bodies together. Jaemin lets himself be embraced by the ravenette, feeling the latter’s heat course through his body. As Jeno buries himself deep inside Jaemin, the latter could do nothing but respond with melodious moans.

* * *

“You’re doing it on purpose weren’t you?” Jeno says breathily, staring at the dusty ceiling of the school gym’s storage room “Because that boy has been watching us since you got here”

Jaemin’s eyes gaze at the ajar door, his fingers tracing circles in Jeno’s heaving chest “That boy’s been annoying me for quite a while, leaving me messages and stealing my stuff.” He pulls himself up to level with the ravenette “I feel violated when he looks at me with those disgusting eyes during gym class”

Jeno trails feathery touch on Jaemin’s back, earning a low whimper from the latter “But you let him see us have sex”

Jaemin smiles tenderly and kisses Jeno’s lips once again. He shifts his naked body on top of Jeno, letting the warmth of their bodies mix together “I wanted him to see who I belong to. My body is only yours.”

“Chenle, Donghyuck, Renjun, and Jisung— they become so interesting when they’re all broken, don’t you think?”

* * *

Jaemin enjoys the scent of the grass field and the golden hue of the afternoon sun. It makes him appreciate the moments when he played football and track— makes him feel like a normal high school boy. But everything does come to an end.

“You know what Jeno calls me?” Jaemin starts, breathing the summer air “A doll. An emotionless doll that is hungry for something he lacks.” He turns around, facing the four men “I may be empty but I have everything superficial. You wanted my life, don’t you?”

“Smart, rich, pure, and loved” Jaemin smiles, looking at each and every one of them “how does it feel to be broken?”

“Are you going crazy?” Donghyuck screams, pushing Jaemin on the bleachers.

Jaemin’s bloody body jerks as he coughs out blood. He sees the four men gathering around his broken body, looking down at him with fiery rage. He sees Jisung clutch the knife in his hand, raising it to aim at Jaemin’s chest. One by one they take turns stabbing him, grinning sinisterly at every hit while Jaemin writhes in pain.

“Oh, the prince charming is here” Jisung announces, looking blankly at Jeno’s still figure a few feet away from them.

“You know, I saw Miss Park around here somewhere.” Chenle lets his gaze remain at Jeno’s angered face “Do you think she’ll find us if we shout loud enough?”

“Teacher!” Renjun shouts as he acts concerned “Help! Jeno is stabbing Jaemin!”

* * *

Present

Jaemin shifts his stance as he sighs “I had fun scaring you a little before the main course.”

“What more do you want from us?” Chenle’s voice trembles “Wasn’t it enough you killed Mark?”

“Oh no, no, no.” Jaemin clicks his tongue “I hated Mark— I mean I still do. But regretfully, I wasn’t able to kill him. Isn’t that right, Renjun?” He turns and smirks at the injured male “Oh wait. I’m confused, Jeno. You were the one who saw them on the rooftop. Was it Donghyuck?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Chenle counters “You expect us to believe you?”

Jaemin crosses his arms and shrugs “You should’ve seen Mark’s face when he found out about Renjun and Haechan. The look on his face was priceless, knowing his unfaithful lover slept with one of his best friends.”

Jeno turns to Chenle “But history repeats itself doesn’t it?”

“You guys make me sick” Jisung voices out, gritting his teeth.

“Now, now Jisung. Don’t play innocent here.” Jaemin warns “I bet you were also dying to kill Donghyuck from snatching that promotion, weren’t you?” he then chuckles softly “But what can you do when Donghyuck as the advantage of experience? It’s like high school all over again”

“But why stab me first?” Donghyuck retorts, clutching his injured arm.

“I think you question is best directed towards your friend Chenle here” Jaemin signals to the said man “if he is your friend at all”

Donghyuck hesitantly turns to the man beside him “Why?”

“Didn’t they tell you? Oh bad, bad friends.” Jaemin clicks his tongue.

“Jaemin, don’t” Renjun cuts off, rushing towards his lover “Donghyuck, he’s trying to get in your head”

“Am I?” Jaemin raises a brow “Weren’t you going to break up with him to be with Chenle?”

“Why would a struggling artist go overseas almost twice a month?” Jaemin goes on “Donghyuck, how does it feel when you’re the one betrayed this time?”

“They’re right” Donghyuck scoffs “you have no proof”

As if on cue, Jaemin throws a bunch of photographs on the floor. The flashing lighting from the window made the images clearer. There were photos of Donghyuck in compromising positions with different men, most of them his higher ups. Intimate photos of Renjun together with Chenle were also present— in the car and even in the bedroom. Jisung is seen lingering around Jaemin’s workplace, watching him from afar and following where Jaemin goes. Photos of high school Jaemin in gym class or in the showers were also included, all taken by Jisung. 

“I could’ve let you off” Jaemin snaps, taking a pistol from his side. He points it at the four men, adjusting the safety lock “But you took Jeno away from me. That I cannot forgive”

* * *

“It’s funny to think that no matter how long people spend time with me, they still can’t see through me”

“Do you want them see who you truly are?”

“No. they can’t even see past the fake smile” Jaemin responds softly before shifting his gaze to the other person “But even then, you still see right through me”

The man chuckles “You can’t hide behind that pretty face, Doctor Na. At least not to me”

“Well Doctor Lee” Jaemin grins, biting his lower lip “Isn’t the reason quite obvious?”

“Therapy session?” Nurse Kim knocks “Your door is wide open”

“No, we’re on break.” Jeno responds, giving the newcomer a smile “Doctor Na decided to drop by.”

“You two are really match made, you know” Nurse Kim comments, shifting her gaze from Jeno to Jaemin.

Jaemin tilts his head as he sits comfortably “What do you mean?”

“Well, Doctor Na is a surgeon who has probably seen more stuff than I ever want to in my life” Nurse Kim starts to explain “And Doctor Lee is a psychiatrist who can check up on Doctor Na’s mental health and wellbeing all the time”

Jeno rests his head on his hand “What’s my benefit?”

“You’re benefit is having Doctor Na as your boyfriend.” Nurse Kim says “You’re not bad yourself Dr Lee, but a boyfriend who’s on par with your looks, cooks for you, and tends to you at home? You must have saved a country in your past life.”

Jaemin chuckles softly at the comment “You’re exaggerating Nurse Kim but thank you”

“Anyways Doctor Lee, I like your new hairstyle. Although I kind of miss the blonde already” Nurse Kim pouts.

“He’s handsome isn’t he?” Jaemin smiles, lovingly looking at Jeno “Reminds me of our high school days”

“So you were high school sweethearts! That’s adorable.” Nurse Kim coos excitedly “I wish I had something like that, too. Speaking of high school, didn’t you have a reunion Doctor Na?”

Jaemin sighs in frustration “Something came up so we had to cancel the last minute.”

“That’s too bad. Maybe you can rearrange next time.” Nurse Kim suggest, her smile turning into a smirk “But I think you had a great vacation”

“Why do you think so?” Jaemin challenges, raising a brow.

“Come on, you’re glowing!” The nurse groans exasperatedly.

Jaemin hums slyly “Doctor Lee may have contributed a lot to it”

“Gosh, you are so naughty Doctor Na!” Nurse Kim squeals.

Jeno clears his throat “By the way, Nurse Kim. What made you drop by?”

Nurse Kim claps her hands “Oh yes. Someone’s hogging the TV in the lounge room and I figured I could, just maybe, ask a favour from our hospital’s most handsome and skilled psychiatrist?”

“Yes, you can watch the news” Jeno exhales, leaning back.

“Why do you care so much about news these days?” Jaemin asks curiously.

_Morning news: Today, six more bodies were found in different parts of the country. Although the bodies are found miles away from each other, the causes of death are very similar. We have yet to prove that this is done by one person but one thing is for sure, the killer’s signature is identical with the previous killings._

“Doctor Na” Nurse Kim voices out “I don’t have a boyfriend to protect me from the harms of the outside world so yes, I care about the news”

* * *

“That sneaky attitude of yours”

“Don’t you get turned on by this?” Jeno says in a low voice, firmly gripping Jaemin’s hips “It’s been ten years after all”

“Thirteen” Jaemin reminds, circling his arms around Jeno.

“Oh, right. Junior high” Jeno nods, chuckling “I guess it’s because you only transferred during senior year that I was lonely for the first two years.”

“You know how attached I get to you.” Jaemin purses his lips as he brushes Jeno’s fringe softly “I barely managed to last one term trying to ignore you in class. It was so hard to pretend we didn’t know each other”

“It was hard for me too” Jeno cups Jaemin’s face “but it’s the only way I could control myself around you”

“The same goes for me, Jeno.” Jaemin takes Jeno’s hand and kisses the scar on his palm. He looks at Jeno’s black orbs with genuine adoration “Because behind all these madness, only you can keep me sane”

* * *

_Some say the innocence of youth is a precious thing._

_It’s not forever so one should treasure each moment while it lasts._

_Memories with friends can last a lifetime, even longer than one can imagine._

_Some memories are worth to be remembered, and some should be buried._

_Youth isn’t an excuse for ignorance, and so does keeping secrets._

_You should be wary though, because the past can haunt you back._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is basically just notes about this story. I couldn't fit it into the end notes because it's too long.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NOTES

I wanted to cry writing the last chapter because I thought it’s going to be easy since I already wrote the outline of the chapter yesterday. BUT it’s taking me so long and I wanted to finish updating today. I’ve been looking at my laptop for hours and I was planning to simultaneously write while watching a movie. But I got too preoccupied by the movie instead! For the past five hours I only managed to write two pages, that’s how bad it was.

**THANKFULLY IT’S DONE.**

Some of you may be confused or think of this story as somewhat shallow or lacking but I just want to address some points here. Now brace yourself because this might be more complicated than I intended to.

First of all, I wanted this story to be slow paced and have this distant (?), disorienting feeling to it. The difference between this story and my other stories is that the ones I wrote before this tend to try to be relatable to the audience be it Jaemin’s or Jeno’s character (depending on whose point of view it is I’m writing). This story isn’t intended to have a definite plot because I wanted to portray Jaemin’s perspective which I’ll explain further if you’re still confused.

What I did is, even though it’s mostly on Jaemin’s point of view, I wanted Jaemin’s character and personality to remain unpredictable that even the readers (you guys) seem to be confused with his thoughts.

Now Jaemin is the main protagonist but he is either a hero or a villain. That is up to you to decide based on your judgement of his character. Basically, I want you to think of it as Jaemin being the author of his own book.

In the first part, I introduced you to his friends (I’ll be referring to them as friends because it’s time consuming to write their names one by one. You know who I’m talking about). I wanted his friends to be a representation of Jaemin’s “reality”— he eventually sees flaws in them the way they see flaws in him. Reality can be deceiving and harsh to the point that one can be driven into madness. That’s the point when Jaemin’s “reality” becomes his “trauma”. Hence, begins to distance himself away from them.

Trauma is related to fear. In a way, Jaemin interprets his “trauma” as something that mocks his inner self— his cowardice if you may. Jaemin doesn’t want anyone to see his real self but because he cannot control the real world, he begins to feel threatened by it.

Jaemin refers to Jeno as his “sanity”— the one who keeps him grounded despite the chaos inside his head. Yes, Jaemin is already aware that there is something wrong with him. That’s why young Jaemin is struggling to balance his true self and his social life. The appearance of Jeno, who immediately sees through him, breaks Jaemin’s defensive walls. He recognizes Jeno as someone who will be able to relate to him, someone who makes him feel he is not alone. Thus, his attachment to Jeno grew. Then the more Jaemin became dependent on Jeno, the more he focuses on his “true self”. Jeno became Jaemin’s outlet. You can interpret this as Jeno being Jaemin’s another self in a different body. He sees Jeno as the epitome of perfection which represents all the positivity within Jaemin. In simpler terms, Jeno became Jaemin’s coping mechanism.

Apart from that, Jeno was something Jaemin worships— his seduction and fantasy. Jeno was someone Jaemin can rely on whenever his emotions get the best of him which results in lust and anger. Basically, when Jaemin vents his anger and kills people, he feels turned on. Sex becomes his outlet from frustration.

Now what drives Jaemin even into madness is that his friends (now his trauma) begins to threaten his “sanity” (which is in form of Jeno). This can be seen when they tried to make Jaemin ignore Jeno or calling him names. Jaemin’s aggression begins to rise. Jaemin already sees Jeno as his everything and when they physically attacked Jeno, Jaemin begins to crumble.

But then again, his “reality” comes back and bites him. You can interpret this as “if you’re too self centred, karma may bite you back” and Jaemin is stabbed by his friends. At the same time, Jeno is also taken away from him. So this time, Jaemin begins to lose himself.

This, however, is a game Jaemin tries to win. He had already lost himself, immersing in hatred and his inner chaos. So what does he have to lose if he confronts his reality?

Jeno or his friends are neither evil. There is no right or wrong here. It’s a matter of Jaemin’s perspective, they appear as how Jaemin would want them to appear. As I said, Jaemin is like the author of his own book.

In conclusion, this is more of exploring one’s character and me experimenting on psychology rather than fiction.

Oh and yes, Jeno and Jaemin have been lovers for way longer, when they are about fifteen or sixteen years old. They continued to keep in contact for two years before Jaemin transferred in their school and the pretending happened. I didn’t expand this since it’s going to make the story longer than I would want to. But Jeno and Jaemin were pretty “normal” when they started dating. Then they began to become different and more twisted as they grew older.

I’m open for Q and A if you’d like. It can be about this story or other stuff and I’ll do my best to answer. I just wanna interact with you guys more.


End file.
